What's up with me?

what might have been
sure i think about you now and then
but it's been a long long time
i've got a good life now
and i've moved on
so when you cross my mind
i try not to think about
what might have been
cuz that was then
and we have taken different roads
we can't go back again
there's no use giving in
and there's no way to know
what might have been
we could sit and talk about this all night long
and wonder why we didn't last
yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
but we'll have to leave them in the past
so try not to think about
what might have been
cuz that was then
and we have taken different roads
we can't go back again
there's no use giving in
and there's no way to know
what might have been
that same old look in your eyes
it's a beautiful night
i'm so tempted to stay
but too much time has gone by
we should just say goodbye
and turn and walk away
and try to think about
what might have been
cuz that was then
and we have taken different roads
we can't go back again
there's no use giving in
there's no way to know
what might have been
no we'll never know
what might have been

my best friend
i never had no one
that i could count on
been let down so many times
i was tired of hurtin
so tired of searchin
til u walked into my life
it was a feelin
i'd never known
and for the first time
i didnt feel alone
you're more than a lover
there could never be another
to make me feel the way you do
oh, we just get closer
i fall in love all over
everytime i look at you
i don't know where i'd be
without you here with me
life with you makes perfect sense
you're my best friend
you stand by me
and you believe in me
like nobody ever has
when my world goes crazy
you're right there to save me
you make me see how much i have
i still tremble
when we touch
and oh the look in your eyes
when we make love
you're more than a lover
there could never be another
to make me feel the way you do
oh we just get closer
i fall in love all over
everytime i look at you
i don't know where i'd be
without you here with me
life with you makes perfect sense
you're my best friend

mercy
well i have lived ten years plus ten
and ten and ten again
i have seen too much to pretend
then you wanted to come in
i have survived all of the lies
they made me wise
the locks and walls and the peace it buys
still when i look into your eyes
it's a surprise when you say
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
let it all go away
oh mercy, mercy baby
what do you want from me
well i plead mercy mercy baby
i do not know what this all means
it's been a while since i've been stylin
in just my jacket and my jeans
it hurts to walk, it hurts to talk
it hurts to think about it
shout about it
could i be sure without a doubt
that you could never live without me
i want to fall in you, crawl in you
surrender all in you now
could i be sure in you, pure in you
finding the cure in you
now i plead have mercy on me
now i am kneeling at the alter
in the temple of your eyes
and i am asking for a miracle
i have been too long paralyzed
when you say get up and stand up
and climb the rope of hope
and open up again
oh the peace you say is promised me
seems too much to comprehend
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be okay
just hold on tight
and let it all go away

you'll think of me
woke early this morning around 4 am
with the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
i pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
i've been trying my best to get along
but that's okay, there's nothing left to say but
take your records, take your freedom
take your memories, i don't need em
take your space and take your reasons
but you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
cuz we have nothing left to weather
in fact i feel a whole lot better
but you'll think of me
i went out driving trying to clear my head
i tried to sweep out all the rooms that my emotions left
i guess i'm feeling just a little tired of this
and oh the baggage that seems to still exist
it seems the only blessing i have left to my name
is not knowing what we could have been, what we should have been
so take your records, take your freedom
take your memories, i don't need em
take your space and take your reasons
but you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
cuz we have nothing left to weather
in fact i feel a whole lot better
but you'll think of me
someday, i'm gonna run across your mind
but don't worry i'll be fine
while you're sleeping with your pride
wishing i could hold you tight
i'll be over you and on with my life
so take your records, take your freedom
take your memories, i don't need em
take your space and take your reasons
but you'll think of me
take your cat and leave my sweater
cuz we have nothing left to weather
in fact i feel a whole lot better
but you'll think of me

To really love a woman
to understand her
you gotta know her deep inside
hear every thought
see every dream
and give her wings when she wants to fly
then when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms
you know you really love a woman
when you love a woman
you tell her that she's really wanted
when you love a woman
you tell her that she's the one
'cause she needs somebody
to tell her that's it's gonna last forever
so tell me have you really, really really ever loved a woman?
To really love a woman
let her hold you
'til you know how she needs to be touched
you've gotta breathe her
really taste her
'til you can feel her in your blood
and when you can see your unborn children in her eyes
you know you really love a woman

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're loosin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

come stop you're crying, it will be alright
just take my hand, hold it tight
i will protect you from all around you
i will be here, don't you cry
for one so small, you seem so strong
my arms will hold you, keep you safe and strong
this bond between us can't be broken
i will be here, don't you cry
cuz you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
you'll be in my heart
no matter what they say
you'll be here in my heart always
why can't they understand the way we feel
they just don't trust what they can't explain
i know we're different, but deep inside us
we're not that different at all
and you'll be in my heart
from this day on
now and forever more
don't listen to them, cuz what do they know
we need each other to have, to hold
they'll see in time, i know
when destiny calls you, you must be strong
i may not be with you, but you got to hold on
they'll see in time, i know
we'll show them together
cuz you'll be in my heart
believe me you'll be in my heart
i'll be there from this day on
now and forever more
you'll be in my heart
no matter what they say
you'll be here in my heart always

meet me in the dark
keep your eyes down
keep your head lowered
keep to yourself dear
do not tell a soul
you know it's wrong
what they've been saying
and you knew all along
that i would have to go
find a place where light
shines on my reflection
a place where i
can stand up on my own
not down on my knees
until then please
meet me in the dark
meet me in the shadows
past the old graveyard
down Eisenhower Road
meet me where the storms
blow out on their own dear
meet me in the dark
never let me go
i know everyone
has their unspoken fear
it eats away their senses
and their humanity
they carry all their secrets
every night down to the river
and they try so hard to drown them
they won't do that to me
cause i'm working hard
saving all my money
and the tips in this jar
will buy a brand new set of wings
for my mercury
until then please
meet me in the dark
meet me in the shadows
past the old graveyard
down Eisenhower Road
meet me where the storms
blow out on their own dear
meet me in the dark
never let me go
i could never hide
this little light of mine
if God made a mistake
then i should die before i wake
maybe it's my fate
to swim against this tide
swallowing my pride
keep your eyes down
say that you don't know me
for i could not survive
if they took you away
meet me in the dark
meet me in the shadows
past the old graveyard
down Eisenhower Road
meet me where the storms
blow out on their own dear
meet me in the dark
never let me go

Current Mood: scared

prima donna do you wanna
let us all in on your drama
tell us what would make you happy
little princess super star
you're the fairest one by far
yes, we all think you're so pretty
so cry baby a little
cry baby
come on and cry baby
perfectly you play the martyr
tell us again how your life's hard
make us feel so very sorry
everyone is watching you
just the way you taught them to
doesn't mean you're not so lonely
so cry baby a little
cry baby
come on and cry baby
well, i guess you made me sad
cuz i know that's all you have
but i guess it makes you happy
so i cry baby a little
cry baby
come on and cry baby
just cry

Current Mood: cynical

ex-factor
it could all be so simple
but you'd rather make it hard
loving you is like a battle
and we both end up with scars
tell me who i have to be
to gain some reciprocity
see no one loves you more than me
and no one ever will
is this just a silly game
that forces you to act this way
forces you to scream my name
then pretend that you can't stay
tell me who i have to be
to gain some reciprocity
see no one loves you more than me
and no one ever will
no matter how i think we grow
you always seem to let me know
it ain't working
and when i try to walk away
you hurt yourself to make me stay
this is crazy
i keep letting you back in
how can i explain myself
as painful as this thing has been
i just can't be with no one else
see i know what we've got to do
you let go, and i'll let go too
cuz no one's hurt me more than you
and no one ever will
no matter how i think we grow
you always seem to let me know
it ain't working
and when i try to walk away
you hurt yourself to make me stay
this is crazy

anyway
i'm a little bit pretty
but i'm pretty smart
and i see thru
your beguiling heart
well, i don't want your love anyway
so you still have me
under your skin
but there's a vacancy
that i don't fit in
well, i don't want to anyway
now you're gone
so i don't want you
and i don't need you
and i don't taste you
and i don't pray for you
and i don't ache for you
and i don't crave for you
cuz i won't waste for you
anyway
yeah, i was still breathing
in between my thighs
and i was still breathing
in between your lies
well, i don't want you anyway
yeah, i'm well aware
of everything you didn't say
yeah, i'm well aware
that you never felt the same
well, i don't want you to anyway
now you're gone
well, i don't want you
and i don't need you
and i don't taste you
and i don't pray for you
and i don't ache for you
and i don't crave for you
cuz i won't waste for you
anyway
i know you well enough
to know you don't know me
cuz you never wanted me
just the girl you thought that i should be
well, i don't want you to anyway
now you're gone
well, i don't want you
and i don't need you
and i don't taste you
and i don't pray for you
and i don't ache for you
and i don't crave for you
cuz i won't waste for you
anyway

the reason
i'm not a perfect person
there's many things i wish i didn't do
but i continue learning
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
i'm sorry that i hurt you
it's something i must live with everyday
i know the pain i put you thru
i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears
that's why i need you to hear
i found a reason for me
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
i'm not a perfect person
i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go
that i just want you to know
i found a reason for me
to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new
and the reason is you
i found a reason to show
a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that i do
and the reason is you

I love you Babe. No matter where the future takes us, I know that I'll forever be a better person because of you.

heaven bend to take my hand
and lead me through this fire
be the long awaited answer
to a long and painful fight
truth be told i tried my best
but somewhere along the way
i got caught up in all there was to offer
and the cost was so much more than i could bear
though i've tried i've fallen
i have sunk so low
i messed up
better i should know
so don't come round here
and tell me i told you so
we all begin with good intent
when love is raw and young
we believe that we can change ourselves
the past can be undone
but we carry on our back the burden time always reveals
in the lonely light of morning
in the wound that would not heal
it's the bitter taste of losing everything
that i hold so dear
though i've tried i've fallen
i have sunk so low
i messed up
better i should know
so don't come round here
and tell me i told you so
heaven bend to take my hand
i've nowhere left to turn
i'm lost to those i thought were friends
to everyone i know
they turn their heads embarrassed
pretend that they don't see
that's it's one mis-step, one slip before you know it
and there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed
though i've tried i've fallen
i have sunk so low
i messed up
better i should know
so don't come round here
and tell me i told you so

oh look at how she listens
she says nothing of what she thinks
she just goes stumbling through her memories
staring out onto Grey Street
she thinks, hey, how did i come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world
but i can't get out of this place
there's an emptiness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in
but all the colors mix together to grey
and it breaks her heart
how she wishes it was different
she prays to God most every night
and though she swears he doesn't listen
there's still a hope in her he might
she says "i pray, but they fall on deaf ears
am i supposed to take it on myself?
to get out of this place"
there's a loneliness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in
and though it's red blood bleeding from her now
it feels like cold blue ice in her heart
when all the colors mix together to grey
and it breaks her heart
there's a stranger speaks outside her door
says take what you can from your dreams
make them as real as anything
it'd take the work out of the courage
but she says, "please
there's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door,
i live on the corner of Grey Street
and the end of the world"
there's an emptiness inside her
and she'd do anything to fill it in
and though it's red blood bleeding from her now
it's more like cold blue ice in her heart
she feels like kicking out all the windows
and setting fire to this life
she could change everything about her
using colors bold and bright
but all the colors mix together to grey
and it breaks her heart

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this message to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just ignore it.

the river and the highway
she follows the path of least resistance
she doesn't care to see the mountain top
she twists and turns with no regard to distance
she never comes to a stop
and she rolls, she's a river
where she goes, time will tell
heaven knows, he can't go with her
and she rolls all by herself
he's headed for a single destination
he doesn't care what's standing in his path
he's a line between two points of separation
he ends just where it says to on the map
and he rolls, he's a highway
where he goes, time will tell
heaven knows, she can't go with him
and he rolls all by himself
and every now and then, he offers her a shoulder
and every now and then, she overflows
and every now and then, a bridge crosses over
it's a moment that every lover knows
and she rolls, she's a river
where she goes, time will tell
heaven knows, he can't go with her
and she rolls all by herself
and he rolls all by himself
fare thee well

What the hell happened to my life? How the hell did I end up here? I know this certainly isn't the way that I planned my life to be. It seems like everything that used to matter so much to me just doesn't matter anymore, and I don't even know if that bothers me or not. And it seems like everything that does matter to me just keeps slipping through my hands. The more I try to cling to it, the further away it seems to get. I'm starting to feel like I'm never going to get things right. For some reason, all the good things in my life seem to be ending. My life is becoming increasingly cluttered with mistakes, regrets, disappointments, heart ache, and failure. I wish I could get just one thing right. Every minute I'm between breaking down into tears and an overwhelming desire to break something. All I want to do is run to that one person who always seems to make things better and always makes me feel like I'm okay, but I can't and that hurts more than anything else. I could really use a little help right about now.

shameless
i'm shameless
when it comes to loving you
i'll do anything you want me to
i'll do anything at all
and i'm standing
yeah, for all the world to see
baby that's what's left of me
don't have very far to fall
you know i'm not someone who's ever been
insecure about the world i've been living in
i don't break easy
i have my pride
but if you need to be satisfied
i'm shameless
hunny i don't have a prayer
every time i see you standing there
i go down upon my knees
and i'm changed
swore i'd never compromise
but you convinced me otherwise
i'll do anything you please
you see in all my life i've never found
what i couldn't resist, what i couldn't turn down
i could walk away from anyone i ever knew
but i can't walk away from you
i have never let anything have this much control over me
i worked to hard to call my life my own
and i made myself a world and it's worked so perfectly
but it's your world now, i can't refuse
i've never had so much to lose
i'm shameless
you know it should be easy for someone who's strong
to say she's sorry or admit when she's wrong
i never lost anything i ever missed
but i've never been in love like this
it's out of my hands
i'm shameless
i don't have the power now
i don't want it anyhow
so i gotta let it go
i'm shameless

why do i bother?
they asked me why i'm involved with you and i gave my usual wise ass comment - "i ask myself that all the time?" but that was a lie. i know exactly why i'm with you. it's because of the way my heart jumps when you look at me. it's the way your eyes light up when you smile. it's the way you make me laugh when you try to sing a song i hate and how i find myself singing along to that song when you're not around. it's the excitement i see on your face when you see me as though we haven't seen each other in years. it's the crazy things you say that don't make any sense but have such amusing underlying meaning. it's the way we fight over stupid little things and at the end of it have no idea why we were fighting, but we're in each other's arms again and that's all that matters. it's how we can do absolutely nothing and yet it's the most fun i've had. it's the little nick-names you give me that i pretend to hate. it's how you open my eyes to new ways of seeing the world. it's everything you are and everything you believe in. but mostly, it's the way you love me back.

commitment
what i'm looking for
is a love that's forever
someone who can capture my soul in a heartbeat
and stay for all time
what i'm praying for
is a match made in heaven
someone who will worship my body
and still put his heart on the line
commitment
someone who'll go the distance
i need somebody who'll stand power
but who'll make go weak in the knees
commitment
and everything that goes with it
i need honor and love in my life
from somebody who's playing for keeps
what i'm searching for
is a man who'll stand by me
who will walk thru the fire
and be my flame in the night
and i won't settle for
less than what i deserve
a friend and a lover who'll love me
for the rest of my life
commitment
someone who'll go the distance
i need somebody who'll stand power
but who'll make go weak in the knees
commitment
and everything that goes with it
i need honor and love in my life
from somebody who's playing for keeps
i've had promises broken
three words left unspoken
they just left me aching for more
but i'll fight temptation
i won't be impatient
there's one thing that's worth waiting for
commitment
someone who'll go the distance
i need somebody who'll stand power
but who'll make go weak in the knees
commitment
and everything that goes with it
i need honor and love in my life
from somebody who's playing for keeps

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